20 Ways to Slow Down
I just finished The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry, and it was an impactful read. I know this because it irritated me as I read, irritated because it called me out on all my crap. No one likes that, but after I was able to get over myself, the truth of what he was saying became clear to me. So much so that some of the things he was saying we should be doing, I found that I had begun doing them without conscious thought.
As Comer lists these 20 practices, he speaks with grace and allowance. This is his list - it does not have to be my list. While some of them are existential - if texting while driving is a common practice for you, perhaps you should question your life. Comer tells us to change the list any way that we like; make it our own. Just do something.
So that is where I am, trying to figure out what I am going to do, ergo, I am going to go through the list here and parse out what I am going to do about eliminating my hurry.
Drive the speed limit
This one is hard, but I am going to give it a shot. First, this means that I am going to need to get my crap together and not be late leaving anywhere. Second, it is just a habit, and those are hard to break. But there are some positives. I have come to like my drive to work and home (1.5 hours) because it allows me time to listen to all kinds of media. Listen to the bible app? Check. Baseball podcasts? Absolutely. Great stories? Those podcasts are everywhere.
2. Get into the slow lane
This one is easily harder than #1. This is the lane where people who do not even do the speed limit hang out.
Painful.
Upsides? Maybe I can save money on gas and listen to even more podcasts.
3. Come to a full stop at stop signs
This one goes hand in hand with #4 - this one could save lives.
Also, having pulled out in front of someone in the past still causes me some stress when I cross a country road, so going slower will give me the time to process.
Oh yeah, obey the law too.
4. Texting and Driving
I could sit here and tell you all of the bad things that can happen to you and other people, but you know that.
The whole idea of being present and being present while hurtling down the road at 70 mph seems like a pretty good idea.
5. Show up 10 minutes early for an appointment without your phone
This one I do already after a sort. For example, my lovely bride always tells me that she will check me/us in when we go to get haircuts. I tell her that I will just show up and go from there.
Now the part about the phone is harder. I have sat there with my phone getting to the end of the internet while I wait. I should be reading, or praying, or just examining the world around me.
6. Get in the longest line at the grocery store
Impossible. Nigh impossible. Why would anyone want to do this? After fighting through aisle after aisle, dropping money as if I have lots of it, you want me to spend even more time there? I become totally frenetic at this point. If I am with the boys, it is when I become the most curmudgeonly. I do not want to interact with the checkout worker while I toss endless items onto a moving belt designed to efficiently take me to financial and emotional ruin. I WANT TO LEAVE!
Yes, it has occurred to me that this is the very reason I should do it. Learn to deal with who I am in this moment.
7. Turn your smartphone into a dumb phone.
JMC tells us to take away some of the things that make the things so dang alluring.
Remove:
Email
Social Media
Anything that does not truly make life easier/better
Social Media and Email are to be done on the computer at set times of day for set periods of time.
He speaks of changing the color to a gray scale; pretty much makes it gross looking.
This actually makes sense to me because it is the object that is more likely to stop me from being present in any given moment.
There are some apps he keeps and uses on the phone - Instagram and Twitter, but Comer believes that Facebook is the worst, a terrible place where conservative Christianity goes to play, and it should never be used.
8. Parent your phone; put it to bed early and have it sleep in
I talked to a ton of people at work, and this one is tough. When I brought up the idea of leaving your phone in another room, it did not go over well. There were lots of reasons. From it’s my alarm to that’s what I do before sleep - there was lots of pushback.
I am going to try this one - to the right you can see the alarm clock I am considering getting.
9. Keep your phone off until after your morning quiet time
This one is both easy and hard. If you have a routine that you follow in the morning, not as hard to leave the phone alone. If you don’t really have a consistent routine, it is probably going to be a more difficult task not to check feeds right off the bat.
Its a good time to read your bible, or just read while enjoying a cup of coffee.
10. Set times for email and social media; do not check them randomly
This one. This one is pretty sucky. I say this because I find myself caught by this one a lot. Ashamedly. Walking down the hall for 10 seconds - what’s on Insta? After reading, I am now at least noticing it. But it’s worse; when I do catch myself and leave my phone in my pocket, it is uncomfortable. So I am so addicted to the dopamine hit that it feels bad when, during a 100’ walk down the hall I can’t take my phone out?? Pitiful.
Now, when I am walking here to there, when I think of it, I put the dang phone back in my pocket and just be present.
11. Take a regular day off each week
This is another one that is really, really tough. I know what we are told to do, but I am losing on this one to the world. There are so many things we do on the weekends that I often look forward to Monday because that is when I can slow down. When I start to feel worn out by this, I try to remember that my children are not going to be here forever and that someday I will look up to a really quiet house. I do not want to regret any of my time now and how I spend it.
12. Take up journaling
This one I already got beat. I have journaled extensively over the last 3 years. I use my iPad and a handwriting app to detail my little existence. I really like it because I can add pictures, which really makes it look cool and helps me remember all of the moments that go by so darn fast.
13. Experiment with mindfulness and meditation
To be honest, I am not always sure what being mindful is. Is it being aware of certain behaviors? Is it being aware and then changing behaviors that are damaging? Work in progress there.
Meditation - I have started messing with this again. I say messing because I have done it before…and promptly fall asleep. But from this book, I have a new tactic. I think of Jesus the entire time. The gifts, the forgiveness, just…Him. Doing this, I am trying to hear Him speak to me. In the quiet.
Still not good at it, but as with all things, it is a work in progress.
14. If you can, take long vacations
According to JMC, your relaxation peaks at day 8 of a vacation…I cannot even come close to remembering what that is. I mean, I have summers off, but they are busy as all get out now. I know I have never taken a vacation that long with Libby, for the usual reasons: money, time, blah-blah. This is something I will probably be able to do someday, but not today.
15. Cook your own food and eat in
This is one I am willing to do a lot more of. I feel like we can do a nice meal for $50, and that is about half of what it costs us to go out. I understand that you have to cook it and then clean it up. Totally get it. But I like to do it. Maybe I need to just tell Libby that I will both cook and clean. I know she hates that - not that I blame her, just think it would make sense both nutritionally and financially
16. Eat more slowly
This one seems like a no-brainer. You feel full before you have thirds on the mashed potatoes, and you get to enjoy the company of your family for a longer period of time.
I am one of the worst at this, and I need to work on it. When dinner is done, I am out of there and on to what’s next.
17. Single Task
I have seen data that multi-tasking is a myth, yet I sure give it a go more often than not. I always say that when teaching, I have to be able to have 7 conversations at once and do 3 other things. I know that my quality of work improves when I only focus on one thing, but it is surely a tough habit.
18. Walk Slower
I was able to do this at one point in my life, so much so that people complained about it. Now, I seem to motor on just like everyone else. When I am going from one class to another, I am pretty much zooming. I need to mosey more often. This is a time and place thing, though. If I walk slowly in the hallway, I will be run over by 23904523 sophomores.
19. Take a regular day each month for silence and solitude
This would be great! I already have it planned out. I get up early and drive to a state park, such as Turkey Run. Go for a nice long walk. Stop somewhere to sit and listen.
20. Take up a hobby just for the fun of it"
I am a teacher, which means I am not rich and will never be. With that being said, however, I am gainfully employed, so we do not have to worry about food. So my fishing hobby is ultimately for no reason at all, and I am totally in love with it.
Look, I do not know how this is going to all turn out. There are a lot of things on this list that I think seem really obvious and easy to do. Others seem really difficult at this point in my life. Comer makes it clear that you do not have to do all of these things - just do something. So that is what I am going to do. Stay tuned.